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…Happy Valentine’s day…

Those words have not voluntarily left my lips in probably more than 13 years.  I’ve said it, but only when it was said to me and I did not want to be rude and say “Valentine’s Day is stupid.”

Even in the past 10 Valentine’s Days since I have been with my husband, I have not received a Valentine’s Day gift.  When I first started dating my husband (a few months before Feb14), I told him that he didn’t need to get me anything for Valentine’s Day.  I explained to him my thoughts on the Hallmark holiday and again said, I needed nothing.  He must have verified 100 times before believing me.  I think he was afraid I was saying one thing and wanting another.  But I was not!

My thoughts on Valentine’s Day…

At first, I think it was out of annoyance that I never had a Valentine.  I mean when I was a kid, my mom would leave me a little card and stuffed animal on my bed and that was fun.  When in high school, a friend and I exchanged gifts but made them seem like they were from mystery guys so that the guys in our class would wonder who got us Valentines (there were like 15 kids in our class at our small private school so it’s like I know who you know and you don’t know anyone, type of situation. lol).  Then I think it turned into anger related because I’m single sort of thinking.  But I was clever and masked it with this explanation.  Greedy women expecting gifts and getting mad if they don’t get anything or don’t get what they want.

While I still firmly believe this, over the years, when I would explain this, people would ask me, “What about Mother’s Day?”  I had to think quick and make something up to not let them be right.  But they WERE right.  It’s the same thing.  I’ve always celebrated my mother and father on their respective days.  What makes Valentine’s Day different?  I DO think that the middle-of-February-holiday is way over compensating for something, I just can’t put my finger on it.  I think it’s more about “getting lucky” or “impressing someone” rather than “I love you.”

What’s more romantic than gifts and appreciation on February 14th?  Gifts and/or appreciation on April 3rd or September 28th.  My point is any random date.  Valentine’s Day shouldn’t be about “how big can I do this?”  Every one loves to feel loved and thought about.  And as for me, I would rather be surprised with something expected than to have a day where I know something is coming. Then I know that someone was actually thinking about me instead of a calendar telling them to do so.

I feel like the Grinch, when his heart started growing…

Now, this sounds like I am going from a non-Valentine’s Day person into some mushy lovey dovey flowers and chocolates every February 14 for the rest of my life person.  I’m not.  I am just saying that I may not be as anti-Valentine’s Day as I have in the past.

Maybe it’s all a part of my quest for true happiness, maybe it’s becoming a mom and becoming softened, maybe it’s just me…growing up (shhh, let’s not say that last one again).  In the past, I would rather wear black and have NOTHING to do with the day of red, pink, roses, and balloons.  Now I found myself making chocolate covered strawberries yesterday (not because it was Feb14, just happened to be a coincidence).  And right now I am making brownies for dessert when my sister’s family comes over for dinner and I plan to cut them out into little hearts.

There’s nothing wrong with celebrating love.  I’ve always been a supporter of love and condone the showing of love.  Just something about the expectations of Valentine’s Day ruined it for me.  Not sure if I will ever be one of those expecting something on Valentine’s Day, but I might do more in the celebration of it…

I am going to get so much flack from any one who knows me over this.  But I’m ok with it.  I am being true to myself and sometimes that’s admitting change.