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Brain Dump….Feeling a Little Discouraged.

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So, I try to keep my posts fairly positive and upbeat.  (As many as I can)

However, I have been feeling a little down in the dumps in many aspects of my life.

Don’t get me wrong, I never lose sight of how truly blessed and lucky I am.  And I try to keep myself fairly grounded.  But sometimes, I just feel like I’m failing at everything.

I start to second guess myself, my abilities, and my strengths.

I won’t bore you with all of the details on where I feel I am failing, but maybe just a couple.

I had high hopes for this summer with Ayden.  This was our first “real” summer break (between VPK and Kindergarten didn’t count because he only went to “school” 9-12).  So I wanted to be able to do fun stuff with him during the summer because I knew he would get bored.  I had planned to do crafts, go to the park, go to the splash pad, go to the $1 movies, etc.  I have done barely any of that and there are only 18 days left of summer (yes, I’m counting lol). I’m just so tired, that by the time I take care of the dogs (which is quite a chore with our old dog not eating well) and get breakfast in us after a very broken night of sleep (between said old dog, pesky 3 year old puppy, and hubby leaving the house in the wee hours of the morning for work), I’m almost ready for a nap by the time I’ve finished breakfast.

BUT…then I usually sit down at the computer and get my VA work done for my client so that I can “relax and have fun” in the afternoon.  Except for….it’s usually more me relaxing and my son not having fun.  :(. Poor kid.  Problem #1, boring mom.

Then I always want to be that person that gets themselves ready in the morning (they say it makes you more productive).  I always have plans of getting dressed, doing my hair and makeup even if I don’t have plans on leaving the houseI do NOT have an extensive routine so it’s not like glamour shots up in here).  I feel like I would feel better.  But I’m…you guessed it…too tired.  And in the morning, I feel like “why waste time getting myself ready?”  Problem #2, frump status.

Which leads me right into problem #3…I am having THE HARDEST TIME sticking to any kind of healthier eating/exercising routine!!!  I have a bit of knowledge and I see/follow on social media so many people doing it and seeing results, when I’d rather have a donut and read their posts than get out there and do it myself.  I have all the excuses for whenever you’d like to hear them.  BAHAHA. Problem #3, letting myself down.

Then there are the 2 business-type problems.  I think my main discouragement came when I felt like my little blog here isn’t going to be what I want it to be.  They say, dream it and it will come true…well I’m not so sure about that.  My #1 reason for this blog was to share snippets of my thoughts.  To get them OUTSIDE my brain so I can hopefully make more room for more chaos.  haha.  But I’ll be honest, the #2 reason is to generate some income so I can continue to help provide for my family while being home taking care of my family.  Pinterest is a blessing and a curse at times.  I read all of these posts about how new bloggers were making thousands of dollars in their first 6 months of starting their blogs.  And I’m over here like…nobody wants to read that I did the laundry today.  I have nothing exciting to write about.  As you saw above, I can’t even keep promises to myself.  LOL!!!  Anyhoo, I ain’t gonna give up cuz I really don’t like admitting defeat.  So I will just continue with my little blog because it makes me happy.  🙂

And then the last of the main problems is my Virtual Assistant business.  I had such high hopes for it when I launched in January.  I consider myself a realist (more so than an optimist or pessimist).  Which means that I set realistic goals and have fairly realistic dreams.  Far enough to be something to work for, but not too far that I won’t obtain them (and be disappointed all the time). Thank goodness for a good friend who needed a VA when I started so I wasn’t months and months with nothing.  I feel this is a perfect opportunity for me as my son is still young and our plan is for me to be home with him as much as financially possible.  And I’m thankful that I don’t have to work outside-the-home very much at all.  But it would be so nice to be able to use my abilities and knowledge of administration, social media, running business, digital design, etc to be able to again…help provide extra income for our family.

OKAY…that was A LOT of sharing of my personal thoughts.  But like I said, I have to just get these things out sometimes.  I am NOT a fan of everyone thinking someone else’s life is all hunky-dory because they only put the positive on social media. Don’t confuse that with airing dirty laundry or always complaining on social media, I don’t like that either.  I just want to be real that yes, I have good moments during the day and I share those because I want to put positivity out there, but my brain is in a constant struggle battling the “is this worth it?” on many aspects of my life.

This may sound like a “woe is me” post, and many people could read this and say “but you have this, and this, and that, and this, you really shouldn’t be complaining.”  This is TRUE!  I am blessed beyond measure and I could write a post 10+ times the length of this one listing out all of my blessings.  That’s not what this is about.  It’s more about me working through the things that are discouraging me and finding ways to overcome them.  Will I overcome them all?  Probably not (the realist in me says), but will putting myself out there help?  I think so.  And maybe it will help someone else who’s feeling discouraged.

It’s ok to be discouraged and to be down.  But it’s not ok to stay there and give up.

I’d love to hear about something you’re discouraged about that you’d like some encouragement on.  It’s really amazing when others share words of encouragement.  Leave me a comment below (and don’t forget to encourage someone else who might need it).

Have a great Monday!

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